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Baratunde exists at the intersection of comedy, politics and technology. His official duties include Web & Politics editor at The Onion, co-founder of Jack & Jill Politics and host of PopSci's Future Of on Science Channel. Basically, he's a smart, funny, extremely handsome dude.

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Thursday
06Mar2008

If Hillary Gets To Claim Michigan And Florida, Denver Will Burn

Update @ 9:39pm CT: i've posted a response here

cross-posted at Jack & Jill Politics

I chose an inflammatory headline because flames may be called for. Forgive me if I'm late to the party. I didn't check out Hillary's Ohio victory speech until just now. She said something extraordinary...
You all know that if we want a Democratic president, we need a Democratic nominee who can win the battleground states just like Ohio. And that is what we've done. We've won Florida, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Michigan, New Hampshire, Arkansas, California, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, and Tennessee. And today, we won Rhode Island, and thanks to all my friends and supporters there.

Hillary Clinton has lost her damn mind. I'm gonna leave Florida alone for now. But just to be clear, in Michigan, SHE WAS THE ONLY CANDIDATE ON THE BALLOT!!

How do you claim victory? How? How? How? Who did you defeat?

And why is this not the big headline? It's one thing to dis voters by telling them they don't count or by intimidating them (in places like Nevada), but I'll be damned if I let this person run around like some petty dictator.

There is no excuse for this, and those who support Senator Clinton also support thug politics. Why not just deploy people with AK-47s and machetes to "canvass" neighborhoods and "campaign" for you Hillary? Why the pretense of commercials and debates?

I'm gonna say this much. If she gets to claim those delegates as-is, it's over. If its thug politics you want, then that's cool, just let me know, because I can bring out the thug. You want to destroy my candidate with dirty politics? Fine. You want to hide behind "35 years of experience," go ahead.

But you do not get to fuck with my vote. Ya hear me!? YOU DO NOT.

I will do all in my power to bring hell to your campaign and hell to the Democratic Party, and if there's one thing I've learned in this political season, it's that I have power. We all have power, much more than those who wield power regularly want us to know. THERE ARE MILLIONS OF US. MILLIONS. There are only a few of them.

A Message For Those Pushing Fear Of The Alternative

For those of you out there supporting Senator Clinton, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask what your soul is worth. For if you don't call her on this, you are complicit in an act of treachery. Many of us think that Senator Clinton's transgressions of racial politicking are enough to disqualify her from receiving our support, but I'm not even gonna go there. I'm just talking about democracy and rules and fairness.

If you fail to stand up for democratic principles, then you are against democracy, and you are my enemy. Tell your candidate to back off. She agreed to the rules and now wants to change them. Tell her to back off. She is making a mistake.

Many Clinton people have said here and elsewhere that we must ultimately support her if she's the nominee because the alternative, John 100-Years-War McCain, is unacceptable, because the Supreme Court is in jeopardy, because blah blah blah.

First of all, the only way she can be the nominee is to thwart the democratic process through some underhanded means.

Second, how dare you take me for such a fool? How dare you threaten me? Yes, threaten. Such tactics don't work on me, and the fact that they work on you says you can be bought at a cheap price. Don't come at me with lame ass appeals and scare tactics about the Supreme Court and how bad McCain would be. You cannot scare me into voting for a person who has shown such a lack of principle.

I'm gonna be real clear on this:

I ain't afraid of John McCain! We just survived eight years of George W. Bush

I ain't afraid of John McCain! My mother went to too many meetings, walked in too many marches, took over too many radio stations for me to vote out of fear.

I ain't afraid of John McCain! My grandmother wasn't the first black clerk at the Supreme Court, and her father did not teach himself to read just so I could vote out of fear.

I ain't afraid of John McCain! Do you hear me?? My people did not build this country with their backs spilling blood, did not have their families systematically destroyed, their language stamped out, their identities stolen en masse so that I might be here today and vote out of fear.

I am not afraid of John McCain or what the Republicans might do because millions of my ancestors lay at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean right now, and they did not die for me to cave so easily. Nothing John McCain could do as president would justify me turning my backs on my ancestors or my principles. We will survive. We have always survived.

You think we're in for hard times if we don't support Hillary? You don't know hard times.

We have a choice, and now is the time to stand up. If we sit by and let this go down as if we had no choice in the matter, then we might as well do away with ballots and courts and rights, get a barcode stamped on our necks and a chip inserted into our hands, and simply bow down.

Don't ever come at me and try to blackmail me into voting out of fear.

Reader Comments (15)

Thanks for writing that. I couldn't believe it when I heard it.

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersteve garfield

I Twittered it this morning, but you might wanna take a look at the electoral map at cnn.com. Even though when you roll over MI and FL, it says 0 delegates, they've added those two states in HC's color...marking her as the winner of those elections. (I'm of the opinion that since they don't count, they should be in a neutral color.) I hear you re McCain...and am reminded of what your pal Derrick said at the end of that clip outside the L.A. debate.

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

Not ONLY did she run UNCONTESTED in Michigan, she ONLY GOT 55% OF THE VOTE!!!! If you barely scrape a majority of the voters in the state, and they have no other choice, you sure as hell better not claim victory.

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPeter Haik

The message that we have the power is so important. And given your incredible active participation in this campaign makes your call that much more powerful.

And thank you for reminding me that my ancestors did not show the incredible courage they did in surviving and escaping from slavery and in creating and bringing truly important change to this country for me to ever vote in fear. It brought tears to my eyes.

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaria Niles

Right on!!

I'm wondering if there are any substantial online efforts to put a stop to this. Know of any?

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan Trenn

Right, i was pissed when I heard her mention Florida and Michigan too--though I support a revote or recaucus or something there. But, here's the other thing. If we look at how these candidates have run their campaigns as a little preview of how they will run the country, what do we see?

Hillary Clinton: fearmongering? Playing on stereotypes and highlighting/creating divisions between groups in order to push through her agenda? Agreeing to one thing out of political expediency and then going back on it the moment it doesn't work out according to her plans (ie. Florida and Michigan) and blaming it not working out on someone else's unpatriotism. Making ad hominum attacks on political leaders with which she has disagreements? Complaining about bad press whenever she gets some? etc. etc.

Barack Obama: a responsibility to the grassroots efforts that put him in office? classiness and diplomacy towards even those leaders with whom he disagrees? a tendency to recognize nuance and a slowness to make personal attacks? A transparency of government? an inspirational leading style which will rally Americans to take their duties as citizens responsibly?

And to be fair, you could probably add some positives to her (i'm too annoyed to think of any right now) and some negatives to him--but the basic trends seem clear. And in this present world, with the present standing of the United States in the international arena, and the trends set by our current president...which do we need more? Just, some questions to chew on....

March 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentert-c

I hear she also won the Sudetenland.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuebob

I am dead serious when I say I will light the match in Denver.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQueen of Spain

How long before we learn that this kind of hate talk only makes us look like the metafors that are too often used to describe us. Hillary has always supported black causes and Obama is a fine man, lets work with the truth, the truth always wins.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJames Edinger

"abusing me then telling me i have to take it because the other master will abuse me more is a terrible position to put me in."

I loved that part of your response. Well done.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I've been thinking about this Michigan/Florida thing and the biggest issue seems to be funding new contests. The DNC doesn't want to do it because the states broke the rules and it would divert money from the general election campaign. The states don't want to do it because the states are still protesting the roles of the early states in the nominating process and they don't want to pay twice for the process.

I'm definitely siding more with the DNC on this one, but perhaps a compromise could be split the bill and have the DNC raise extra funds for the general election through Obama-style grassroots/Web 2.0 style efforts. It would be a demonstration of two of Obama's hallmark principles of leadership: compromise, and empowering the American people to take ownership of the campaign.

In the meantime, a strategy towards free publicity and news generating efforts could be moved to a more front-burner strategy.

I don't know. I'm talking out of my ass as I just sort of came up with it now, but what do you think?

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEric

You're an idiot Baratunde, and so are your supporters. Racists like you, are the undoing of our society.

For the bozzo with the sudetenland quote... there are prescriptions for your kind.

March 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralahagbar

If anyone needs a prescription, it's Hillary Clinton. A dose of reality for the junior senator from New York please. This post was right on point Baratunde. I will not be forced into a corner. I, we... know better than that.

March 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin Jackson

We have never gotten anywhere in life if we did not stand up for principle. There may be some pain, a loss of a job, an enduring war, gas getting higher, but it can be handled. I will not be threatened to remain loyal to my party. After all, the person you are scaring me into voting for, voted for the war. You are trying to force me to believe she is more electable. Well, let's see. If she loses the young vote, the cross-over vote and the Black vote, how is it that she is more electable? In her last debate (if one wishes to call it such), she stated "Yes", "Yes", "Yes" Barack Hussein Obama is electable (just kidding). It seems she is having delusions again. I wouldn't mind going to Denver, but a blogger for One Nation for Change reminded everyone that there won't be a motel available for miles!!!!

April 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarina

The DNC doesn't want to do it because the states broke the rules and it would divert money from the general election campaign. The states don't want to do it because the states are still protesting the roles of the early states in the nominating process and they don't want to pay twice for the process.
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August 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhankjmatt

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