OK, Obama Needs To Have A Press Conference On All Things Black

cross-posted to Jack & Jill Politics

This past week, Obama has faced increasing pressure and media coverage around his stances on "black issues." Recall the following:

• His black hecklers in Florida


• Coverage of his stance on reparations


• and affirmative action

Obama is going to be asked to comment (as a black man) on every issue possibly related to black folks, and he'll be asked to address (as a black man) all possible stances of black people across the country. He can't avoid it, so I say embrace it. Obama needs to have one marathon press conference in which the conflict-driven media personalities who play journalists on TV can get their ignorance and fears addressed out in the open.

Obama needs to have a "Press Conference On All Things Black"



What tough questions would the potential first black president of the United States be forced to address? Oh there are so many legitimate concerns out there. Here's a partial list.

• What do you have to say to the white Senator whose job you took thanks to affirmative action and reverse racism?


• Do you know what a re-up is?


• Many black people believe whites are blue-eyed devils. I'll take your silence as agreement.


• Please complete the following popular music lyrics: "the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. we don't need no water, let the ______ ______"


• Have you ever looked at a white woman?


• The year is 1983. Prince or Michael Jackson?


• Was justice served in the R. Kelly verdict?


• Have you ever urinated on a teenage girl and video taped it?


• Where is the tape, Senator?


• Senator? The tape.


• Several prominent African-American leaders are on the record opposing Lunchables. Do you support that position?


• Can you please share the exact date on which you'll initiate the program of White Slavery? I think the American People deserve to know.


• Hip Hop artist Nas recently referred to your former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, as a "great f--king coon." How strongly do you agree with this statement?


• When was the last time you had sex with Lil Kim?


• Self-described community activist and liberation scholar Baba Chaka Jawanza Afrika has called for the elimination of the white race and the appointment of a black caliphate to govern Earth. Will you return his $7.43 campaign donation and reject and denounce him in person?


• Jovaunte Stephens of Atlanta, GA is scheduled for a probation hearing tomorrow. He insists he didn't do shit wrong. Did he?


• How come black people can't swim?


• Considering your biracial background, is it safe to assume you have an above average length penis for a white man, but a below average length penis for a black man?


• Where is Tupac? Seriously.

What other newsworthy questions do you think Obama should be forced to answer?

Comments

[nezua]

dude, by the time i got to "please complete the following popular music lyrics" i was laughing so hard i was coughing like a sick dog.

[baratunde aka jack turner]

thanks homey!

[cln0103]

This white girl is still laughing over whites as blue-eyed devils. Oh, and Michael Jackson, by a well manicured nose.

[Xoloitzquitle]

Since he is half white, does he have to prove himself to the white community too?

Or is that next week?

Do you have the questions for that session?

Or does he have to eat poi at the luau to show he is truly from Hawaii? Does he surf?

Didn't he grow up in Indonesia? How about he be tested on Gamelan instrument skills? We would want the Indonesian American community think that he was ignoring their concerns, would we?

I am happy everyone is so focused on these important matters and qualifications. I thank you for your vigilance.

[tiffany]

Baratunde, every other candidate makes an effort to address black issues and concerns. While on the one hand I understand Obama's race-minimizing strategy, he doesn't want to be the black candidate.

On the other, I expect him -- as a politician -- to tell me what he will do for me and mine. And there are some legitimate issues that are uniquely black. What policies, for example, will Obama implement to help stem the tide of HIV infections among black people? He mentions *GLOBAL* HIV on his web site. But not a blip about HIV in the U.S. Yeah. Someone needs to call him on that.

I'm not saying he has to become Tavis Smiley's new BFF, but to ask what will he do for black people is a legitimate question. He's distanced himself from some of our major organizations and media outlets in a way that would outrage us if he were white or Republican. As Zora Neale put it: "All my skinfolk ain't my kinfolk." Obama shouldn't get a pass on black issues just because he's black.

[Xoloitzquitle]

Is the US not part of the *GLOBAL* community? Epidemics need to be addressed at global scale, not national, HIV included. "When Germs Travel" is a good book that discusses this.

Moreover, implementing health care policy that is effective is a holistic way of addressing the needs of the many marginalized communities in this country. While the diverse communities that make up this country have their unique needs and concerns, the balkanization of politics will only destroy a campaign towards unity.

[baratunde aka jack turner]

The first part of Obama's HIV/AIDS plan focuses on the US and specifically mentions the dismal rates of infection and death among black men and women. http://click.icptrack.com/icp/relay.php?r=1045380543&msgid=30821119&act=20LX&c=106775&admin=0&destination=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barackobama.com%2Fpdf%2FFactSheetAIDS.pdf">See here (PDF)

[tiffany]

@Xoloitzquitle: HIV is a global epidemic, but because we have these little things called countries and borders, each epidemic must be addressed *within* borders. To discuss HIV/AIDS *globally* (and yes, I missed the link to the PDF on the bottom of his healthcare page) without addressing the crisis among blacks here at home makes politicians (*cough*cheney & edwards in '04*cough*) look supremely out of touch and as though they disregard the populations they'll be serving.

And yes, Baratunde, I stand corrected on the HIV point. But I still stand by my statements that Obama has the same duty to speak to black folks that any other presidential candidate does and that every group has the right to demand that their concerns be specifically addressed by a presidential candidate.

[faboomama]

Yes! Then I got to Jovaunte and I was done. I'm still laughing.

[faboomama]

Figures those SIMs at HuffPo wouldn't appreciate it. Great job. And since I won't read that blog anyway, I'm glad it's here.

[julia]

I love you.

p.s. Michael Jackson. Right?
p.p.s. Could you please publish a Stuff Black People Like follow-up to that janky white people book/blog?

[baratunde aka jack turner]

DEFINITELY Michael Jackson. 1983? yeah, the gloved one wins that hands down

[Obama’s ‘BLACK&#82]

[...] Check it out here and ENJOY! [...]

[EJ]

I'm a little late... but this shit is no less hilarious.

"i'll take your silence as agreement..."

you're my hero ;)

[baratunde aka jack turner]

late is no problem! i've been working on the standup version of this. will
try to post some video in the next week or so