ipanema in clouds and sun
(i miss brasil)

No no, I'm not RUNNING for governor. That's Steve Calechman's job.

No, I'm campaigning for Deval Patrick to become the first brotha/governa of Massachoosnets. Details to follow.

If you're in Boston tonight, catch me do a long-ish 20-30 minute set

Tue Apr 18 06
Bragging to Children
at An Tua Nua
835 Beacon St.
Boston, MA
cover: $7

Now some news including:



It's been FOUR YEARS since I first took to the stage at a little Chinese restaurant in a run-down Howard Johnson's in Boston called Chops. Since then, I've performed at Chinese restaurants all across the country!

So happy standup birthday to me.



buy my t-shirt

Many of you were shocked when I decided to give away my most recent book,"Keep Jerry Falwell Away From My Oreo Cookies." But, it's been downloaded 1,975 times and physically handed out hundreds more, all in 9 weeks!

However, this does not mean that I dislike money. To the contrary, money is the only thing that really makes me happy. I bathe in it, even though that doesn't kill the bodily funk, it makes me feel better than others.

So, to the point: I'm SELLING COOL T-SHIRTS!!

Yall know those overhyped Che Guevara "Viva La Revolucion" t-shirts?? Well, I'm trying to overhype my own joint: "Viva La Evolution" with my boy Charles Darwin on it. I was talking with a man down in Austin, TX at the SXSW conference, and he thought it would be funny. He wasn't going to make them though, so I did, with the help of the good people at goodstorm.com

You can find the shirts on my website which links to Baratunde's Corner Store


I've uploaded two new videos.

1. A Final Solution for the Religious Right, but not in a Holocaust-y Way
2. I'll be a Black Conservative for $140,000

You can find both (and more) at baratunde.com. These are hosted by YouTube, which is sucking pig knees right now, so don't hate me if the stream is slow.

and the Black Conservative joint is also on my MySpace page.


Be sure to visit baratunde.com and baratunde.com/blog for some cool design updates including

* a new "Books" page on the main site
* a wider blog design for goodCRIMETHINK (more room for my booty since most blog templates are not designed for the full-figured black man)
* more videos
* more podcasts!
* more MORE!!!!


About two weeks ago, I was invited to perform with several other great Boston comedians in a showcase audition for Comedy Central. I'm sorry I didn't tell yall about it before hand, but if you'd been reading my website religiously as we agreed, you woulda known :)

Seriously, though. It was a great experience. All the comics were great, and the only choice Comedy Central has is to give us all our own shows. It's going to be a crowded Fall lineup I guess.


About a year ago, a friend of mine asked me to help get a man named Deval Patrick elected to the governor's office in Massachusetts, and I did what I could. All cecause of my efforts, Deval is now ahead in delegate votes and public polls of Democrats for the nomination! That's the power of comedy, people!

Deval sued Bill Clinton when he was still governor of Arkansas, before it became the popular thing to do. The suit was about voting rights discrimination, and Clinton was so impressed, he hired Deval to be Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights when he became president.

There's a lot more good news about this Chicago-born, Massachusetts-raised kid from the South Side. If you're in Boston, come see him headline with me as the opening act.

Young Professional Fundraiser for Deval Patrick

Tuesday April 25th
Anthem in downtown Boston

- GIMME MONEY (wherein Baratunde becomes NPR-ish)

About me loving money. Consider the past four years of comedy I've given you people. Two books, hundreds of MoJos that kick the ass of Leno/Letterman/and SNL combined, hours of live comedy, silly photos, AM radio and podcasts and countless live shows for which I was usually paid nothing.

Four years of Baratunde comedy. That's like a college degree, people! I've given you a college degree's worth of comedy practically for free. You didn't even have to pay taxes!! So here's my pitch. Four years at Harvard College (that's the quality you're getting people!) would have cost you $43,655 x 4 = $174,620

Because of inflation, free market turbulence and the War in Iran (oh yes, I SAID it), let's just round it up to $200,000.

Now, all I'm asking for is one-tenth of one-tenth of one percent of that, or $20 from those who can. That's like a 99.99% discount homies y homeysitas! Si, se puede!

Many of you just paid Uncle Sam for arguably much less valuable services. Some of you even managed to get Uncle Sam to pay you (ahem, Halliburton). So help a brotha out.

Head on over to my donation page, because free comedy costs money.

(or you could just buy some of those hot t-shirts)

(speaking of free comedy. i just wrote most of these RIGHT NOW)

A former executive at Ben & Jerry's was sentenced to more than two years in prison for embezzling $300,000 from the company to pay for vacations, car repairs and clothing. Apparently going to jail was the only way he could stop eating the ice cream.

The immigration debate has gotten very ugly. On the conservative side, you have people who want to "outlaw illegal immigration." On the liberal side, everyone is worried about what will happen to the children. I'm more worried about the nation's lawns. Until you can find me a self-mowing lawn, I say, keep illegal immigration legal.

Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar admitted to driving through a crowd at UNC Chapel Hill and declined a public defender saying "the truth will be my lawyer." As it turns out the truth will also be his prison rapist.

Today, San Francisco commemorates the 100 year anniversary of the Great Quake which leveled the city and killed 3,000 people. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson are pleading with God for a 2006 repeat.

Three US military contractors have confessed to smuggling marijuana into Iraq using the military postal system. The news isn't surprising to those familiar with the military mail's new motto: "neither lack of body armor nor sexed up intelligence nor local law stays these couriers from delivering those fatties."

With a recent spike in oil prices, Mr. George W. Bush says he will keep an eye out for gas price-gouging, because, he explained, "I need me a piece of that!"

The UN committee against torture has demanded that the US provide more information about its treatment of prisoners held in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay. The US responded by moving the UN headquarters from New York to Guantanamo Bay.

Catholic group Opus Dei has told Sony Pictures that putting a disclaimer on the movie "The Da Vinci Code" stressing it is a work of fiction would be a welcome show of respect toward the Church. Sony responded that not molesting children would be a welcome show of respect toward Jesus.

Veteran rocker Neil Young has recorded a protest album featuring an anti-Iraq war track and a song titled "Let's Impeach the President." The album coincides with a White House memo titled "Let's Wiretap Neil Young."

oops. pow. SURPRISE!!

- www.baratunde.com