This is a great day! One of the best parts of working at the Onion is being on the editorial staff and actually writing headlines. After months of intensive study and Zen-like devotion to the craft, one of my headlines has actually made it through the comedic fires and come out the other side as a piece for Onion Radio News.

And just to clarify, I only did the headline. Others wrote and recorded the segment. It's a very collaborative environment around here.

Obama Voicemail Message Not Than Inspiring