Dear Internet,

I'm facing a ridiculously tough choice. I cannot decide which of these people is more of a hero to me than the other.

Candidate A: Jetblue Flight Attendant Steven Slater


The most recent reporting from the NY Times suggests that this man had been verbally and physically abused by a passenger. Check out this quote from the story posted midday today:

Law enforcement officials said that after the passenger cursed at Mr. Slater, he grabbed the intercom, cursed her out, bid passengers goodbye, grabbed a beer and activated the inflatable exit chute. In court, an assistant district attorney, Benjamin Martell, said that Mr. Slater said over the plane’s intercom, “Those of you who have shown dignity and respect for 20 years, have a great ride,” before making his final exit.

When asked why Mr. Slater chose to avoid the conflict by taking the emergency slide, [Slater's court-appointed defense attorney] Mr. Turman replied, “It was right there.”

That right there is brilliant, and I'm just personally glad to know that flight attendants actually know how to operate the emergency exits, and that those exits work.

But wait, there's more!

Candidate B: "Jenny" the "HOPA"

Update 11 Aug @ 13:31 New info! This is a hoax! Still awesome though.


I found this thanks to a tweet from my editor at Harper Collins, one Debbie Stier. Basically this woman got tired of the abuse heaped on her by her douchebag boss, and decided to illustrate her exit in a series of photos featuring points and matching facial expressions on a dry erase board. The full experience is worth your time.

So now, that you've seen both candidates, who gets your vote for best way to quit?