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Baratunde is a politically-active, technology-loving comedian from the future. He co-founded the black political blog, Jack & Jill Politics, served as Director of Digital for The Onion and is a regular guest on Leo Laporte's TWiT. His book, How To Be Black, is a New York Times Best Seller and was published by Harper in February 2012. Basically, he's a smart, funny, extremely handsome dude. >> Full bio.

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Monday
May262008

Suppose I Could Make Bill O'Reilly Disappear. How Would You Celebrate?

Bill O'reilly Goes Crazy on The Set of Inside Edition


Image courtesy of theleetgeeks via Flickr


Bill O'Reilly of Fox News, Polk Award, Inside Edition meltdown fame, is a bad person who's doing bad things to this country. I cannot enumerate them. Google can do that for you.

It's clear this country would be better if he weren't around. I got to thinking, what if he were to disappear into the void between dimensions? Based on Stephen King's The Mist, that seems like a place full of really bad monsters, so Bill should be right at home. I'm not saying I can do this, but with a particle accelerator and some cayenne pepper... let's just say I might know a guy and leave it at that.

So supposing, just supposing it were possible to banish him to the interdimensional void, how would you celebrate? I really want to know. A friend on Twitter suggested a national holiday called "Fuckery Free Day."

I think I'd max out my credit card to put on a massive parade of falafel-eating munchkins all singing "Ding Dong O'Reilly's Gone" or something to that effect.

What would you do? What would you like to see done if our prayers of Bill O'Reilly disappearing were to come true?

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Reader Comments (2)

I would create a Ben & Jerry's flavor called "Bill No'Reilley." I don't know what it would taste like, but it would have no nuts, crackers or hunks of giant dogshit.

May 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuebob

Once he's gone, I won't celebrate just yet, because I'll force the folks behind TV networks to appoint you as the replacement to his shows! Then we'll celebrate!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrophies

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