Yevgeny Krispykremakov is not your average world class athlete, but that's part of what makes him one of the best. You see, Yevgeny was raised by a pack of wild wolves in the Himalayan Mountains. For the first 10 years of his life, "Krispy" as his wolf family calls him, had no human contact. He hunted with the wolves, slept with the wolves and yes, he even danced with the wolves. There's a rumor floating around Chechnya that Krispy even sired a litter of wolfmen during his crazier days. It was this wolf life, walking around on all fours, which gave Krispy his low center of gravity and made him the envy of the competitive downhill skiing world.
On his 11th birthday, Krispy could no longer be satisfied living on the lamb, both literally and figuratively. After his adoptive father and uncle were poached by fur traders, Krispy decided that he would leave the pack behind and search for his real, human, parents. In order to keep up with his wolf family on hunts, Krispy had devised a primitive form of what we in the civilized world call skis. And it was on these "skis" that Krispy set out on June 3, 1905.
For 80 years Krispy skied from mountain to mountain in search of his roots. He evaded many a hunter who sought the legendary wolf-man. He survived the concentration camps at Auschwitz as well as both atomic bombs in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. When he wasn't enduring the worst suffering inflicted by man this century, Krispy was busy clearing mine fields in half a dozen war-torn countries around the world.